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Jan. 21st, 2010

Yeah, okay, so I haven't posted in a while...

Honestly, quite a lot has gone on since last I got around to posting.  Most updates have now been thoroughly posted on my blog (clicky) or by tweeting (clicky)

For a very undetailed break-down:

I'm officially filled with the joys of pregnancy.

I'm still with Juan.

And, I'm working on writing a book right now.

All in all, it's been a fantastic last few months and what-not, just slightly exhausting.  :)

Dec. 9th, 2008

Waking Up is Hard to Do.

The first person to wake me up this morning was a cranky 4 year old.  My eyes refused to pop open all the way as I stumbled to the kitchen to get her breakfast, clean and refill her bottle, grab a pull-up for her, and then stumble back to the couch, where I proceeded to pass out again..... briefly.  Mornings like these, I remember being her age with MY mom.  Yeah, she's lucky I am not my mom.  Frankly, I'm surprised, impressed, shocked even, my sister and I survived childhood.  *sigh*

Dad attempted to wake me up a few times.  Why does no one understand that if you would just give me a few minutes after waking me up, I would be much more pleasant than if you try to have me snap awake, bright and ready for the day, and then bitch non-stop because that's not how I react?  Seriously people - Caffeine is a necessity before there is any conversation!!!  Nicotine would also help things, especially if you're waking me up to ask me if I can help you pay a bill online since you and technology have a mutual hate-hate relationship and you don't have a clue as to what you're even trying to do!

The final person, the one to which I caved and decided that more sleep simply was not in the cards for me, was Weston.  He called so that he could complain about his job.... "They aren't paying me on time..... I'm going to find another job...... I don't like this job...... like usual, I swear this isn't my fault because nothing ever is....... you'll give me sympathy right?"  No Weston, my children are the only people on the planet who have ANY hope at all of gaining ANY sympathy from me, for the first hour after I've woken up.  Besides, isn't this why there was that whole divorce thing?  So that you can wake up a DIFFERENT woman and bitch about the turn your life has taken, as the result of your own choices, to HER cranky, caffeine-free, nicotine-deprived ass?! 

And, so, I reluctantly made my way to the back porch to smoke a cigarette, after grabbing a diet coke.

Dad: "You're going to pay that bill online for me right?"

Raz: "So, we're going to need laundry detergent, your dad and I are going to go in a bit.  Also, I cleaned the kitchen earlier, there's still a lot of laundry though.  And, I was planning on working on the living room later...."

Me: "Uh-huh, Just give me a minute."

Dad: "You remember that I'm going out tonight, right?"

Me: "Yes... that will be good."

Raz: "Man, you look like you were run over with a truck."

Me: *mumble* "I know a couple people I'd like to run over with a truck!" *mumble*

And so the morning progressed.  *Sigh*  I've only been up for about an hour at this point.  And, yes, I did help dad pay his bill online.

Dec. 6th, 2008

Sibling Rivalry is Even Less Fun For Parents!

I thought the sibling rivalry that once existed between my sister and I was hard on us. I never thought about how difficult it was for our parents to deal with.

Well, now I'm the parent. And, I have two girls who are very close in age. Most of the time, they play nicely with each other. They're certainly over protective of one another, becoming very angry with me, and even lecturing me harshly if I yell at or otherwise make one of them cry.

Sometimes though, they fight like cats and dogs. Today, apparently, is one of those days. They're screaming at each other, and it looks like this may even come down to a few smacks, or a toy to the side of the head. It's nerve-wracking for mommy and rather upsetting.

I should call my mother and apologize for all those times Chelsea and I gave her the need to find a safe warm place to escape the insanity.

Dec. 1st, 2008

I keep getting sent these things by bored friends...

And, well, I'm very bored right now. It's been about two years since I did one of these things, and so... I suppose it's time to do so again...

1) Who was your last text from?

I don't do the texting thing.

2) Is your phone close to you?


3) Bet your missing someone right now?

I miss lots of people right now, who I haven't seen or heard from in a while. Which reminds me, I should call Becky...

4) Last place you ate and with who?

At home with my kids? But, they probably mean 'other than home'. So... in that case... It was probably a few months ago, with Raz. Unless you count Thanksgiving over at a family friends house.

5) Have you ever been cheated on?

Is there anyone who hasn't been? Yes, I have been cheated on. Probably even by the majority of people I've been with, though I haven't done the math on that.

6) Is anyone interested in you right now?

Yes, I believe there are a couple of people who are. Obviously, they don't know what's good for them! LOL.

7) Do you get along with girls?

Sometimes. Though, I tend to get along better with males.

8) Have you ever been given an promise ring?

Yes. And, we can see how well that turned out.

9) Where does most of your family live?

California, I think. But, it's a big family and they keep moving away. Actually, now that I think about it.... the majority probably lives in Oregon at this point.

10) Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?


11) Rent a movie or go to movies?

Depends on my mood, who I'm with, available funds, etc.

12) Are you happy with life?

Define "happy". I don't fart rainbows and sunshine or anything, but I'm content as possible with my life. I feel blessed to have my girls, my friends, and my support system. Things could be a HELL of a lot worse! So, yes, I'm satisfied.

13) Could you cry right now?

Of course I could. I do have the physical ability. I could put on some sad movie and see if I can start that up for ya.

14) What were you doing this morning at 7am?

Snoozing off and on as I took care of my girls.

15) What are you listening to?

I can hear spongebob in the background, and Aurora is drumming for me near the computer.

16) Is there anything that you are craving right now?

Not really. Unless... does adult conversation count?

17) What do you need to be doing right now?

What DON'T I need to be doing right now? I should; do dishes, clean the floor, get some sleep, do laundry, clean the girls room, sweep the front porch, take out trash.... Eh... I'll do it after the girls are in bed.

18) What were you doing at 1 AM this morning?

I think I was writing a journal entry, listening to music, and checking my e-mail.

19) Whose house were you at last besides yours?

Family friends. Her name is Sue.

20) Where were you friday night?


21) Do you wear a seat belt in the car?

yes. LOL - and sometimes I keep it on when the car stops because "I'm afraid of falling out." LMAO (Laurel is probably the only person who'll get that).

22) Next vacation you're going on?

I have no idea. My guess is that it would be to either Oregon or Massachusetts. Though, I fear that neither would be under the optimal "vacation" conditions.

23) Do you like to text or call more?


24) Would you forgive your best friend for hooking up with your love interest?

If I could forgive her/them when I was an angst-ridden, depressed, temperamental teenager, I think I can do it now that I've calmed down and find myself much more content with life. So, yes, I would forgive her/them, though it would take a bit longer to learn to trust her/them again.

25) Who did you last talk to on the phone?

I think that would be Laurel.

26) Where will you be in a hour?

Here. I'll get up when I'm done with this, do some light cleaning, hang out with the girls. And, they'll tell me to go away in about 1/2 an hour, because they're busy exploring and playing... so, I'll come back to the computer, probably talk to Summer for a bit, maybe check a few things online. And, I'll be back and forth all night. :)

27) When was the last time you slow danced with a boy or a girl?

Probably... my wedding, with just about everyone who was there, around 8 years ago.

28) How late did you stay up last night and why?

About 3-4 in the morning. I have insomnia.

29) Whats your hair look like today?


30) Would you ever take someone back if they cheated on you?

Really, it depends on the person and the situation that we're talking about. Although, the odds would be against them. I would have to realize that the likelihood of me trusting them again is fairly slim, though not impossible. And, I would have to determine how likely they would be to "slip" again. So, it would be complicated.

31) Have you ever slept in contacts?


32) Have you seen the movie Thirteen?


33) Are you in a good mood?

For the most part, yes.

34) Does it matter to you if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?

No. But, It would matter to me if they drove while they were intoxicated, or did something else that was stupidly life-threatening (such as diving into a pool from a balcony *cough*Becky*cough*).

35) How many Advil's do you take at a time?

2-4, depending.

36) Have you ever fallen asleep in someone's arms?

Yes, but not very often. I can get very hot, and can be a pretty claustrophobic sleeper. If I fall asleep in someone's arms, it's because a LOT of walls have been thoroughly destroyed and I am exhausted for whatever reason.

37) Does the last person you held hands with mean anything to you?

Yes. He is a friend and a good man.

38) Anything you're giving up on?

Never give up! Never surrender!

39) Do you care what people think about you?

Depends on the person. I care what my children think about the mother they got saddled with. When I'm in a relationship, I care what my partner thinks of me, in a variety of ways. I care what my friends think of me. But, if you're talking about making myself into something I'm not, or dressing in a particular way JUST because I don't want people to think badly of me - no, I don't care. I'll go to the supermarket in boxer shorts and a ratty t-shirt with unbrushed hair and unshaven legs.

40) Is there anyone getting on your nerves at the moment?

Of course.

41) Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?

There are a lot of them actually. I have a lot of male friends and family members, not to mention 3 godsons, that mean a great deal to me!

42) Do you have a best friend to lean on?

Absolutely. More than one actually.

43) Do you still talk to the last person you kissed?

Yes, often.

44) Could you go out in public looking like you do now?

Yes, I could.

45) Where is your phone?

There's one next to me on the desk, one in the living room, and a cordless floating about somewhere.

Like a bad country song

So... Raz and I broke up. The list of reasons is far too long to run down. But, it basically boils down to - whether there's just something wrong with me, him, us, or all of thee above, this wasn't working. We grew in vastly different directions, and I just can't handle continuing to find a way to make it work when nothing we attempt makes much of a dent. For all of you who will inevitably want to know what happened - that's my story, my WHOLE story, and I'm sticking to it!

We will remain friends, and roommates, which should prove awkwardly interesting for a while, but that kind of stuff usually works out just fine, at least in my experience.

I had to bury one of my precious rescue kitties the other day. Such a sweet and loving kitten too. It broke my heart to find that he didn't make it.

And, I just received a birthday card from my Aunt Gloria which surprised me with just a little bit of information concerning my grandmother not doing so well. I love how no one in my family tells me anything.

My grandmother moved back to Massachusetts, where her sister (Aunt Gloria) still lived, a little over a year or so ago. She wanted to live closer to her sister, and was frankly sick and tired of the economy in California. Her decision to move was a difficult one for me to come to terms with. She had done much of my raising, she and my late grandfather were the only stable thing in my life, for as long as I can remember. They were my rock, my foundation, the only thing that didn't throw me for a loop at least once a year. And, they were much more patient and loving with me than anyone else in the family. So, losing grandma's company was rough.

A few weeks ago, my mother called to tell me that my grandmother had fallen and broken her hip. Luckily, she had the cordless phone on her (she lived alone, something else I was uncomfortable with. At least when she was here, I was close enough to care for her). She was rushed to a hospital. Then, I found out, her bones looked good and all they were going to have to do was put a pin in her hip and let her heal. She didn't even need a replacement, she was healthier than expected. All sounds like fantastic news right? And, I even talked with her, and she seemed to be doing great!

No... no... it couldn't possibly be that simple. No, Aunt Gloria had to send me a birthday card, obviously assuming that someone in my family MIGHT tell me what was going on, to let it 'slip' that grandma was moved to a nursing facility (the kind of place she's sworn to kill herself if she ever has to go to), she's not eating, she can't live in her apartment anymore, and she's in poor health and poor spirits.

Yet, strangely enough, I'm feeling very calm right now. It feels so normal, so natural that everything would fall apart all at once. It feels normal that no one in the family would tell me what was going on. It feels natural that these things should be happening.

*Sigh* Okay. So, maybe there's something wrong with JUST me after all.

Oct. 27th, 2008

Trick Or Treating

This Halloween, I'm going as a vampire. Amethyst will be a Snow Queen (that is one big, belled out dress). And, Aurora will be Supergirl.

As usual, Weston will be coming over for Halloween (it's the one special occasion that he has never missed, save perhaps for one year while he was in Iraq, can't really fault him for that though). I have no clue what he's going as, but then neither does he.

Here's the part that has me a little nervous. This year, Raz (my current boyfriend) will also be going trick or treating with us. Raz and Weston seem to have gotten along fairly well and Rory's birthday party in September, but... I'm still a little "EEK" about going trick or treating with my ex husband and my boyfriend and the girls. I feel like they're going to be competing for the affection of the girls in some way. And, I'm not sure how Weston would react to the news that Raz will be going with us. On the other hand, Raz is really wanting to go and the girls honestly know him more than they know Weston. So... W+T=F

I don't like these situations. I just want to go trick or treating with my girls and whoever else wants to come along, and not have to worry about whether or not everyone's cool with each other or whether or not any of the adults are going to need Vampired up mommy to give them a time-out (and, I don't mean in one of those kinky ways that one or both of them might even like)!

Oct. 26th, 2008

Scissors? We don't need no stinking scissors!

See my picture? That sweet looking girl with the bangs and shoulder-length hair? Well, don't be fooled, I was never sweet and that picture was taken in high school, I haven't had bangs since about that time.

But, the shoulder-length hair? Only once have I ever gone shorter. I was in a bit of a rage over the tangles in my hair, and I was looking to shock my husband at the time (to my dismay, he liked it and had no reaction that was more interesting than that). Still, it looked fairly feminine (a friend of mine decided I simply MUST go to the salon after that and he would pay for me to have a nice fluffy feminine hair cut).

Well, recently, I decided I'd had enough of long hair. I was done. So I, quite literally, grabbed the clippers and went to town. Were I in the army (and male), the would need to take a little more off, but not much. Screw it! I like it! It feels fantastic, and I laugh in the face of any tangles that wish to curse my with their presence now! MUHAHAHA

Fortunately for me, the reactions of most of the people who've seen it haven't been overly harsh. My father was none too pleased for around 24 hours, but he learned to actually like it. My boyfriend very nearly cried (Hey, I DID warn them that I would "chop all my hair off soon", I just don't think they took my seriously). Laurel said that she found the "butch" look sexy on me. And, I'm learning to love it even aesthetically. Oddly enough, my hair is much more cooperative now, and I can do more styling with the minute amount of hair I have left than I could with the long locks I chopped off and sent into oblivion.

I'll try to get a picture up after Halloween. I'm going to be a vampire this year, and I'll be taking pics then.

P.S. I know I haven't written on this thing in a long time. Sorry, life got in the way. A dear friend of mine that I hadn't spoken to in a long time (I may actually write that story out later), Jeffrey, invited me to view his live journal. Now that I've caught up on all of his posts, I decided since I'm here... may as well post an update.

Jun. 30th, 2006

Sarcastic remarks to get you through the day...

1. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?
2. Do I look like a damn people person?
3. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
4. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
5. I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
6. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
7. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
8. You!... Off my planet!
9. If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I'll put shoes on my cats.
10. Does your train of thought have a caboose?
11. The Bible was written by the same people who said the Earth was flat.
12. Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
13. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
14. A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth.
15. A PBS mind in an MTV world.
16. Allow me to introduce my selves.
17. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
18. Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets after them.
19. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
20. See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.
21. Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage.
22. I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.
23. I have a computer, a vibrator, & pizza delivery. Why should I leave the house?
24. Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
25. Did I mention the kick in the groin you'll be receiving if you touch me?
26. It ain't the size, it's... no, it's the size.
27. A woman's favorite position is CEO.
28. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
29. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
30. Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
31. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
32. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
33. Okay, okay, I take it back! UnFuck you!
34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
35. Macho Law prohibits me from admitting I'm wrong.
36. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
37. Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.
38. I plead contemporary insanity.
39. And which dwarf are you?
40. Meandering to a different drummer.

Jun. 27th, 2006

Fairly useless movie trivia...

Q 1 : Who was cast as the original lead, Quaid, in "Total Recall"?

Q 2 : In what movie do both Arnold Schwarzennager and Bill Paxton appear?

Q 3 : What flick is playing at the drive-in when the tornado barrels through it in "Twister"?

Q 4 : What music video stars Angelina Jolie?

Q 5 : What was the last movie Tony Randall (Pillow Talk, etc.) did before his death?

*spoilers below*

A 1 : Patrick Swayze

A 2 : Terminator (the original)

A 3 : The Shining

A 4 : "Rock and Roll Dreams Come Through" ~ Meatloaf

A 5 : Down With Love (starring Renee Zellwegger and Ewan McGreggor)

Jun. 25th, 2006

were you born on a cusp??

Below is a list of dates the cusps fall on. Don't forget to read GENERALIZED Zodiac information, as well as the Horoscopes, for BOTH signs.

Aries/taurus: April 14 to April 23

Taurus/Gemini: may 15 to may 25

Gemini/Cancer: June 16 to June 26

Cancer/Leo: July 17 to July 27

Leo/Virgo: Aug. 18 to Aug. 27

Virgo/Libra: Sept. 17 to Sept. 27

Libra/Scorpio: Oct. 18 to Oct. 28

Scorpio/Sagittarius: Nov. 17 to Nov. 27

Sagittarius/Capricorn: Dec. 17 to Dec. 27

Capricorn/Aquarius: Jan. 14 to Jan. 24

Aquarius/Pisces: Feb. 13 to Feb. 23

Pisces/Aries: Mar. 15 to Mar. 25

~ the closer you are to the middle of the above dates, the more you will display the traits of BOTH signs. The closer you are to the beginning or end of the above dates ~ you will be VERY like your sun sign, but will still ocassionally display the traits of the sign that just ended or began.

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